By Jackie Fullen, Home Economist in Residence
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Have You Ever Heard of Marie Kondo?
Have you ever heard of Marie Kondo? Bobby Berk? William Morris? These are the gurus of modern-day organization—apostles of minimalism, cleanliness, and general awe-inspiring neatness. I’ve read them all.
Once upon a time, I marched into my local Carnegie Library and checked out every book that promised to end clutter and give me a closet that looked like a magazine spread. And yes, I read them. And yes, I took notes.
The Closet Chronicles
I really did try. My mother had always insisted that with each change of season, one should clean out the clothes closet, swap in the appropriate wardrobe, and throw out anything unwanted. Loving my mother but hating that advice has led to a lifetime of guilt. Still, here I am, once again, trying to turn myself into a student of Martha Stewart.
The Marie Kondo Technique
I tried the Marie Kondo technique. You know the drill: hold each item in your hand and ask, “Does this spark joy?” If not, out it goes. Every time I picked up a blouse or pair of jeans, I waited for joy. I felt sparks, sure—but usually followed by regret. Soon my toss pile was taller than I was. My closet, meanwhile, contained six items. Back in went most of the rejects.
The Hanger Method
On to the hanger method: turn hangers one way if you’ve worn the item in the past year, the other way if not. That left me with six items again. Also not good.
The Sentimental Value Rule
Then came the sentimental value rule: only keep an item if it means something to you. Now, this worked beautifully—because suddenly everything was meaningful! Every single piece went back in. Hopeless.
Erma Bombeck to the Rescue
Finally, I found a kindred spirit: Erma Bombeck, that great humorist of suburban life, who once advised: clean out your husband’s closet instead. Brilliant. I checked his things for sparks of joy and sentiment. The results were conclusive. Out they went.
The Joy of Decluttering (Someone Else’s)
He’ll be so happy when he sees what I’ve done for him! There’s so much room in there now.
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